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|Wednesday, October 29, 2014, 12:54:55 AM- Whew!!|
I haven't shared much of a truly personal nature here in a long time. I used to love blogging and reading blogs and I honestly don't remember when that changed but this is a part of the site I rarely visit anymore. I have stuck a few things in this space of mine randomly and equally as randomly I look at the latest blogs.
I am back here because... well I don't know where else to go with it. Everything is so interconnected these days and silly as it sounds and it will sound even sillier once I have said what I came here to say I didn't want to share it with some of those that are closest to me. We shared it for real and I just need a place to process it.
Now that I have scared the crap out of some of you it is nothing but everything.
Many of you know I have a disabled child and those of you that didn't you do now.
I have been stressing huge, not sleeping. desperately trying to figure out how I was going to do Christmas this year. My income has dropped drastically with child tax credits etc being no longer available and yet I still have this adult (18 year old) child who believes in Santa. How the hell was I going to manage a magical Christmas this year? I knew I couldn't.
I do not know what prompted him today but he brought Christmas up and was questioning me. I didn't want to destroy the magic that Christmas is for him but at the same time wondered why he was asking.
He was pushing me and I was pushing back. Is Santa real? Do you think he is?
He said with a smile I don't think so and his face was not sad in fact he looked incredibly happy. Did you buy me this? Where? And this? and back over all of the Christmas's
It is funny eh. He may be challenged mentally and physically but he is very aware of what goes on around him. He can tell what the weather is going to be by the sounds the planes flying overhead make.
He wasn't sad to find out Santa isn't real. He look thrilled to find out it was me. I Get it.
I was able to tell him that Christmas will always be magical but I couldn't do it the way I have in the past.
Lil fucker then said can you get me a ...
It will cost me $20 and we are both looking forward to all of our fave shows and traditions.
Stress is off this Momma!
Thanks for listening to my rambling
|Friday, October 03, 2014, 1:00:40 AM- Fall|
Thanksgiving is just over a week away celebrating a bountiful harvest and my freezer is looking bountiful indeed.
Vegetable beef soup, minestrone and in the crock pot now a beef barley. Still to come French onion and pea soup. The turkey will give me the broth to make even more soups and stews.
This is my favourite time of year. Clean cooler air. Stunningly beautiful blue skies. The trees will give us a show of colour they have been hiding all summer and then the leaves will rain down creating a crunchy, earthy smelling path where ever we walk.
I always thing of fall as being calm and cosy. Time to snuggle. Time for bonfires. Time to breathe.
|Monday, September 22, 2014, 1:36:51 PM- An unusual summer.|
Unusual because I generally start going to the cottage and or camping early in the spring and it carries on through the summer and well into fall. That didn't happen this year. Sure I got to Chicago but I need to be near trees and water and have a good fire to really feel at peace.
Friday was the night. We were invited up to a friends place and had a blast.
Ahhh the serenity.
|Saturday, August 16, 2014, 4:31:58 AM- It has been a fuck of a week|
and that is about all I want to say about that.
fingers crossed next week is better.
|Saturday, August 09, 2014, 2:58:57 AM- I really wish|
People would stop trying to convince me the beach is the ultimate place to be. I don't do sun. I am not a fan of sand and I really hate even just the smell of salt water never mind the feel of it.
Appreciate paradise isn't the same for all of us. You would probably hate my favorite places on the planet. Woods, fresh water. Rocks not sand. Cold nights.
I don't force that on anyone so WHY do people feel the need to force their beaches on me?
Beauty as with everything is in the eye of the beholder.
|Friday, August 01, 2014, 12:55:44 AM- I was asked|
to post some pics from my trip. Rather than some I decided on one. You get to play where's ju. I am in the pic and to make it easier to find me I will tell you I have my arm up.
I was at the "bean" in Millennium Park, Chicago.
Have fun :D
|Thursday, July 31, 2014, 3:09:41 AM- Bittersweet|
I am home and while there is no place like home and I am happy to be back in my own environment it is always bittersweet to be home after being away. Immediately what was anticipated and thoroughly enjoyed becomes a memory. A fabulous one for sure but it is always surprising to me how quickly an experience becomes a memory when the mundane catches up. My first chores tomorrow are laundry, groceries, bank.
I think I have premature nostalgia.
|Wednesday, July 30, 2014, 4:27:42 AM- I'm leaving on a jet plane|
Nah that's a lie it's a prop plane on a regional carrier but I will be going home tomorrow.
I have had a blast and have to thank my host 2knude. As always we have had a great time. Usually on my turf. This time on yours. I couldn't have asked for a better host.
Iggy, what can I say it was pure pleasure.
Lenny, our hugs still resonate with me.
Hp I am sad we didn't get a chance, circumstances are what they are.
Fierce. We will meet. Please heal fast.
I am flying home but taking many fond memories with me.
Wish me safe travels and I will see you all on the flip side,
|Sunday, July 27, 2014, 6:08:51 AM- Here I am|
and have been since Friday which was to say the least a fuck of a long day. It started with a bus at 7:43 am. From there it was a train ride, a shuttle bus, a ferry and a plane before I got in a car, got slightly lost did some shopping, went to a parade had a bit of a party and then finally crashed well after midnight my time. The party was impromtu but a hell of a lot of fun, I have made a few new friends in this part of the world:)
Today was slightly lazier than planned but that was ok because I needed my strength to walk the 6 miles give or take it took to see this beautiful but mind bogglingly busy city. People really need to fuck off while I am sight seeing.
We had dinner and walked some more and then headed to the bar we were going to meet up with another NNer. When we finally connected I got a fabulous smooch. The really funny bit happened when we went out for a smoke. A bachloreete party was going on and they were doing a treasure hunt with some pretty funny items they had to collect. Those women would make perfect NNers they were out going and just having a great time but because of them I found myself suddenly engaged. One of them needed to take a vid of themselves smacking a guys ass and because we were together they asked if we were married, "nope but we are engaged." he replied so another said "I don't suppose you have a condom?" I allowed her to smack his ass which got the both of us hugged.
The real highlight of my day was finding the perfect gift for K2. I sent him a pic and to quote "I am so excited!" was the reply.
Tomorrow is going to be a much needed relaxation day, Just a few things to see and do and a bbq for dinner, buncha beers on my part anyway and a call to another friend I cannot wait to finally meet in person.
I really am having a blast and will now stop typing so 2k can actually get some sleep without me hammering away on his keyboard.
One last beer on the porch sounds like a plan.
|Friday, July 18, 2014, 12:52:05 AM- I am so|
This time next week I will be going over all of my final details. The list will have been made an checked twice squared. For the first time in about 25 years I will be getting on a plane. For the first time ever I am leaving my not so little kids to their own devices. For the first time since they have been born I am going to do something purely selfish.
I have earned it. I am looking forward to it and if I didn't mention it I am so fucking excited about it.
Calm but vibrating on the inside,
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