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|Friday, November 28, 2014, 9:52:53 PM- I blogged last night|
It was a good blog too but when I went back to edit it I accidentally hit delete.
We really need an "are you sure you want to delete" button around here.
|Wednesday, November 26, 2014, 2:16:30 AM- To sleep perchance to dream|
or some such drivel.
I don't know why it happens but I go through stages of crazy, realistic, annoying, frustrating dreams. After several nights of sleepless, being asleep but dreaming too vividly to get any real rest dreams, last night was relatively restful.
If you were in London on your way to Berlin (neither place I have ever visited) and happened to stop at the dentist along the way... we may have met.
The mind is a beautiful thing... so they say.
|Tuesday, November 18, 2014, 12:28:57 AM- I was going to write a blog|
about getting your first aid/CPR. Without going into great detail, last night I was grateful to have had the training and was even more grateful K1 had done it too. Sure we were both out of date but when needed it came rushing back to us both. We were calm, we took charge and we were able to rationally deal with a very stressful situation. We didn't do it by the book, she was first responder until she woke me then I took over and she willingly followed instructions. We got done what needed to be done until more help arrived.
I said was going to write the blog because I started off wanting to tell everyone GO do it NOW!! and then I remembered some countries are different. Bad out comes can be very costly via lawsuits. I did not want to get into that. What I did want to emphasise is that you never know when you will encounter a situation where training even out of date training is going to be better than none.
If you have ever thought about going, do it. It isn't difficult and if you are worried about acting because of lawsuits at least if you are educated you can keep those around you from panicking by giving them specific chores until help arrives.
Shit happens and shit is never good but if you know how you can make shit less shitty than it already is, that makes you
well ahead of the game.
|Friday, November 07, 2014, 2:40:04 AM- Like most of us I suppose|
I wake in the middle of the night with my mind racing. I go over and over things I am going to say, things I am going to do and asses I am definitely going to kick. I am surprisingly aggressive in the middle of the night.
I hate getting caught in that loop. It means no sleep for hrs and hrs on end. I am not doing productive thinking. I am reaching no real solutions and each time I look at the clock I get even more frustrated seeing how much time I have wasted when I should have been sleeping. It is by no means an every night occurance but it is draining.
I came across an app a last week, relaxing sounds. They are seasonal and quite a number of them were sounds I really do find relaxing. I downloaded it and forgot all about it until last night.
Yesterday was nothing unusual but there was one thing that happened that annoyed me, I didn't think to any great degree until 3:30 this morning.
I woke in fighting mode. I KNEW what I was going to say yadda, yadda, yadda. I tossed and turned for half an hr. Then it occurred to me try the app.
I tried the first one, sounds of the forest at night. It was perfect but I kept waiting for a loon to call out and it never did.
This one was sure to work. Dock sounds. Waves gently lapping at the shore and a boat bumping quietly against the dock. Not a chance.Too rhythmic. Onto the next one.
Rain. Yup just rain. The timer was set for 30 mins.
The incessant loop of ridiculous thoughts was scattered. Good thing. Less frequent tho happy thoughts replaced them with a lot of quiet in between. Even better thing. Then there was no thinking at all.
I heard it stop after 30 mins but I didn't care. I was mostly asleep.
I never thought I was susceptible to the power of suggestion nor did I want to be but in this case I was glad that I am.
There is an app for that,
|Wednesday, October 29, 2014, 12:54:55 AM- Whew!!|
I haven't shared much of a truly personal nature here in a long time. I used to love blogging and reading blogs and I honestly don't remember when that changed but this is a part of the site I rarely visit anymore. I have stuck a few things in this space of mine randomly and equally as randomly I look at the latest blogs.
I am back here because... well I don't know where else to go with it. Everything is so interconnected these days and silly as it sounds and it will sound even sillier once I have said what I came here to say I didn't want to share it with some of those that are closest to me. We shared it for real and I just need a place to process it.
Now that I have scared the crap out of some of you it is nothing but everything.
Many of you know I have a disabled child and those of you that didn't you do now.
I have been stressing huge, not sleeping. desperately trying to figure out how I was going to do Christmas this year. My income has dropped drastically with child tax credits etc being no longer available and yet I still have this adult (18 year old) child who believes in Santa. How the hell was I going to manage a magical Christmas this year? I knew I couldn't.
I do not know what prompted him today but he brought Christmas up and was questioning me. I didn't want to destroy the magic that Christmas is for him but at the same time wondered why he was asking.
He was pushing me and I was pushing back. Is Santa real? Do you think he is?
He said with a smile I don't think so and his face was not sad in fact he looked incredibly happy. Did you buy me this? Where? And this? and back over all of the Christmas's
It is funny eh. He may be challenged mentally and physically but he is very aware of what goes on around him. He can tell what the weather is going to be by the sounds the planes flying overhead make.
He wasn't sad to find out Santa isn't real. He look thrilled to find out it was me. I Get it.
I was able to tell him that Christmas will always be magical but I couldn't do it the way I have in the past.
Lil fucker then said can you get me a ...
It will cost me $20 and we are both looking forward to all of our fave shows and traditions.
Stress is off this Momma!
Thanks for listening to my rambling
|Friday, October 03, 2014, 1:00:40 AM- Fall|
Thanksgiving is just over a week away celebrating a bountiful harvest and my freezer is looking bountiful indeed.
Vegetable beef soup, minestrone and in the crock pot now a beef barley. Still to come French onion and pea soup. The turkey will give me the broth to make even more soups and stews.
This is my favourite time of year. Clean cooler air. Stunningly beautiful blue skies. The trees will give us a show of colour they have been hiding all summer and then the leaves will rain down creating a crunchy, earthy smelling path where ever we walk.
I always thing of fall as being calm and cosy. Time to snuggle. Time for bonfires. Time to breathe.
|Monday, September 22, 2014, 1:36:51 PM- An unusual summer.|
Unusual because I generally start going to the cottage and or camping early in the spring and it carries on through the summer and well into fall. That didn't happen this year. Sure I got to Chicago but I need to be near trees and water and have a good fire to really feel at peace.
Friday was the night. We were invited up to a friends place and had a blast.
Ahhh the serenity.
|Saturday, August 16, 2014, 4:31:58 AM- It has been a fuck of a week|
and that is about all I want to say about that.
fingers crossed next week is better.
|Saturday, August 09, 2014, 2:58:57 AM- I really wish|
People would stop trying to convince me the beach is the ultimate place to be. I don't do sun. I am not a fan of sand and I really hate even just the smell of salt water never mind the feel of it.
Appreciate paradise isn't the same for all of us. You would probably hate my favorite places on the planet. Woods, fresh water. Rocks not sand. Cold nights.
I don't force that on anyone so WHY do people feel the need to force their beaches on me?
Beauty as with everything is in the eye of the beholder.
|Friday, August 01, 2014, 12:55:44 AM- I was asked|
to post some pics from my trip. Rather than some I decided on one. You get to play where's ju. I am in the pic and to make it easier to find me I will tell you I have my arm up.
I was at the "bean" in Millennium Park, Chicago.
Have fun :D
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