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Friday, April 17, 2015, 9:35:04 AM- The police officer
called his station.

"We have a problem here, a woman has shot and killed her husband for walking on her freshly mopped clean floor"

"Have you arrested her then?" asked the Sargent.

"No. Not yet." came the reply

"Why not?

"The floor is still wet!"
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Sunday, April 12, 2015, 2:16:00 AM- I am getting so old
I was at the hot bread shop getting a few rolls for lunch and was chatting with the young girl serving me.

She said she was in year 11 ( second last year of high school ) and I asked what subjects she was doing. School stats again this week. One of the subjects of course included English and I asked what books she was studying.

She wasn't sure but she watched a movie last term.

Watched a movie????

Shit I know it was a long time ago but when I was at school we read books in English and went to the flicks for fun or on
dates!

I am getting so old!
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"lol oh how things change"
- Ley-dd


Wednesday, March 25, 2015, 5:59:35 AM- Haircut.
I got my hair cut today. About time too as I was starting to look like a long haired lout.

As I was sitting there, eyes closed,I realised I really enjoy the experience. I like the feel of the scissors clipping my hair, the comb against my scalp. It is soothing and I relax and almost fall asleep.

I wonder why I wait so long between getting my hair cut then?
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"I love getting my hair washes and cut its so relaxing, hey there hope your well xxx"
- Ley-dd


Friday, March 06, 2015, 3:50:16 AM- Smut

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Monday, March 02, 2015, 10:18:29 PM- Breakfast
Vegemite on toast with a cup of tea.

Does it get any better?
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"avo vegemite and cheese on toast is good too :)"
- flitterbee


Monday, February 23, 2015, 12:44:13 AM- Truthfully
I am seriously under fucked!
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"hi mate been ages hope your well xxxxx"
- Ley-dd


Friday, December 12, 2014, 11:19:37 PM- Mosque
I decided to go to the Mosque for the first time to see what it was all about.

I sat down and the Iman came up to me, laid his hands on my hand and said: “By the will of Allah the All Mighty and the Prophet Mohamed you will walk today.”

I told him I was not paralysed.

He came back and laid his hands on me and repeated the same thing. Again I told him there was nothing wrong with me.

After the prayers, I stepped outside and, lo and behold, my car had been stolen.
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"lol
"
- hd85


Thursday, August 28, 2014, 8:23:49 PM- Riding through the Dandenong ranges


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Sunday, June 29, 2014, 9:22:22 PM- Cold wet misserable morning
I am snuggled up in bed asleep.

My son comes in and says "Can you give me a lift to work"

I struggle to understand what is being asked in my bleary state but agree to his request.

So after gaining consciousness I raise my old weary body, wash up a little and start to get dressed.

Almost dressed he sticks his head in. Ahh, I am thinking, he is checking I am up.

Nooo.

He says "Ummm......I dont have to be at work until 8.30. I thought I had to be there at 7.00. I am going back to bed for a while then".

Thanks son.

Oh well. Do the crime. Do the time.

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"Kid's, We gotta love em, but I can also honestly say Mrs. and I are really enjoying the empty nest syndrome A LOT :)"
- undisclosedid1


Thursday, June 26, 2014, 1:52:49 PM- Sheep
I walked into the bedroom with a sheep under my arm and said - "this is the pig I sleep with"

My girl said - "But that's a sheep!"

I said " I wasn't talking to you"
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"I have to try and be first. That was Baaaaad Gp. lol"
- undisclosedid1


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