Read the latest from NN
|
|
 Send a Private Message to 9x6nj
Viewed: 119 times.
 First |  Previous | 1 | 2 | Next  | Last  | Page 1 of 2 |
| Saturday, November 21, 2009, 1:20:01 AM- Which one is Aged Two? Not Sure. | I was at my coffeshop again this morning, and at 8 a.m., it's very busy. There's a line about 15 people deep. The two-year-old and her mother I mentioned before were about four spaces from the front of the line, when the kid yelled out my name and held up his hand for our traditional high-five.
There's something absolutely irresistable about a kid that age who's so happy to see you that he yells your name from across a crowded room. It's an honor.
So, I ran and gave him the high-five. Afterwards, he looked at me right in the eye and said, "Back of the line."
We all laughed and I protested, "Hey, give me cutsey's. I demand my cutsey's."
He had never heard the term "cutsey's" before, but he still managed to get out, "No cutsey's." I looked back, and now the line was almost twice as big as when I left to give him the high-five.
So, I rolled up my fists ... and you guessed it ... I gently punched his little jelly belly with them while saying, "I want my cutsey's" over and over with each "punch." He howled with laughter of course, and so did everyone else. This kid is so adorable, you can't believe it.
The manager apparently saw the display and intervened. She said, "[My name], your coffee is ready."
I turned to my little friend, and stuck my tongue out. Lol, he did the same right back at me! Everyone was into it at this point.
As I picked up my coffee, for which the manager refused payment, she said, "I forget. Which one of you is two years old?"
I looked at her with a quizzical look in my eye and responded, "Madam, I think we both know the answer to that." | |
| Thursday, November 19, 2009, 7:04:18 PM- Blessed | I ran into an old friend and her two-year-old who adores me. We were talking when a friend of hers came over with her 5 y.o. daughter who proudly introduced herself with both her English and Hebrew names.
After they left, I turned to my friend and asked what my Hebrew name would be. She didn't know but she promised to ask her mother.
About a half hour later, the mother walks in. She knows me well, and we debate a lot. She's an old-school New Yorker, and I just love her way of expressing herself in a way that many might find off-putting if they didn't understand her humor behind it.
I asked what my Hebrew name is, and she said without hesitation, Baruch. (bar-ook) I laughed and said, "What's that mean? Poop face? Talker of nonsense, what?"
She said, "No, it means blessed."
Now, I knew my very Christian name doesn't have a direct translation in Hebrew, so I asked her how she came up with it.
"I don't know," she said. "You asked and I told you. You're Baruch. Trust me."
I will. | |
| Thursday, November 19, 2009, 3:04:20 AM- OMG! | I was just at a coffehouse where everyone knows me. I was finishing up some minor work when I went to go to the bathroom.
There's a quite verbose and demonstrative lesbian who comes into the place on occassion. I don't actually know her and have no desire to, because she's all about making a show, and that's the exact opposite of me. It has nothing to do with her being a lesbian at all.
As I crossed the line for new patrons looking to obtain coffee, I excused myself as I passed in front of her, who by the way speaks loud enough for everyone to hear her anywhere at any time.
She says loudly, (shouting actually), "I don't excuse you and I will never excuse you."
"From what?" was my first response, because I was taken by surprise.
"From whatever you want to be excused of," she answered.
"Do I know you?" seemed like the only reasonable response.
"NO! And I don't want you to!" she shouted back.
"Then we're both happy, and please, let's keep it that way," I said.
Everyone laughed.
Then I took a piss. | |
| Wednesday, November 18, 2009, 10:22:09 PM- Those are Real Quotes | | Just FYI, because nobody seems to get the previous blog entry, the quotes in it are real quotes from the original article. The guy wants to prosecute squirrels! I thought it was funny as anything. | |
| Tuesday, November 17, 2009, 5:38:05 PM- Charlie's on the Lam! | Some of you know that there’s a squirrel visiting me outside my home office window on a regular basis. I now have reason to suspect that Charlie the Squirrel may in fact be on the lam from the law in New Hampshire.
The online publication Seacoastonline reports that more than three dozen American flags have disappeared from the graves of veterans buried at the High Street Cemetery in Hampton. The culprits are suspected to be squirrels, and there’s trouble a-brewin’.
American Legion Post 35 Commander Ralph Fatello is declaring war on the varmints.
"I don't think it's squirrels," Fatello said. "But, if it's squirrels, we are going to prosecute them and I'm going to make an example out of them."
Charlie the Squirrel had a guilty looking glint in his eye when I quoted Fatello to him, so I suggested that he turn himself in. Fatello might not be all that bad and seems open to compromise.
"If they are squirrels, I don't know how I'm going to teach a history lesson to squirrels, but I would be willing to sit them down and try to talk to them," Fatello said.
Charlie seemed unmoved by Fatello’s concession, but I pleaded with him that the most he’d have to do is a little community service … keep your squirrels off drugs, something like that.
Charlie shot back that he didn’t know anything about the flags, and even if he did, wouldn’t it be natural for a true American squirrel to want to line his nest with Ol’ Glory? Stymied by Charlie’s impeccable logic, I turned to the Commander for some back up.
"I just don't see what squirrels would do with that many flags," Fatello said. "Maybe they are making a shrine. Maybe they are patriotic. Rocky the Flying Squirrel was a patriotic squirrel."
So was Rocky the boxer. Maybe it’s him taking the flags. I don’t know where he is, but his statue is down at Eakins Oval. I’ll inquire.
In the meantime, I stared into the cold black eyes of my rodent companion searching for the truth. Why does he seem so fascinated with me, I wondered. Just then, I looked over my shoulder and on the bookcase behind me there’s a small American flag given to me by a mourner at Ground Zero after 9/11.
“Why you dirty rat! I’ll get you … see?” I said in my best James Cagney impression.
His motive uncovered, Charlie made a hasty getaway into the multicolored canopy of the tree. We’ll meet again, Charlie. We’ll meet again.
Check out the picture at the site. I’m telling you, that guy could be Charlie’s brother!
http://www.seacoastonline.com/articles/20091013-NEWS-910130390
| |
| Tuesday, November 17, 2009, 12:03:54 AM- Waiting on the Shower | I was so eager to see the Leonid meteor shower, I went out tonight to a national forest that's pretty close by. Nothing. It's only 7 p.m.
I did see Mars shining very brightly though. It made me remember a time when I saw the Milky Way, and what a shame it is that with so much light around here, there's no way we can ever see it. It was like a necklace of diamonds surrounding the planet. Awesome. I've never felt so small and yet so big at the same time. It's hard to describe.
I guess I should get to bed soon if I'm going to be up at 3 a.m., but I probably won't. | Viewers Comments (2): |  Add / View Comments | Most Recent Comment: | "The shower is best seen just before dawn ... did you see anything? I woke up too late."
- 9x6nj |
|
| Monday, November 16, 2009, 11:48:34 AM- Leonid Meteor Shower | The pre-dawn hours tomorrow, November 17, will be one of the best times to see the Leonid meteor shower in our lifetime. The 2009 shower is expected to produce up to 500 meteors an hour, which is about half of what constitutes a meteor storm, but still a very strong display.
The shower is the result of the earth passing through a debris field left behind by a comet in 1466.
There will be a new moon on the 16th, which means it's in total darkness, so there will be very little light interference on the 17th. The peak of the shower will be around 4:45 p.m. ET, but the early morning hours will be very strong.
To see the shower, travel north and find a secluded place away from city lights. National parks are excellent candidates for a viewing location. The shower eminates from the constellation Leo which rises in the northeast.
I've seen a meteor shower before, and they're spectacular. Have fun!
| Viewers Comments (1): | Add / View Comments | Most Recent Comment: | "I've seen one before too. They are beautiful. I'm going to try to see this one too. Thanks for the reminder :)"
- sexcrazedcouple |
|
| Sunday, November 15, 2009, 12:22:18 PM- How's Sadie Hawkins Day on NN? | Sadie Hawkins day is an annual gender role-reversal day during which it's acceptable for a woman to ask a man for his favor in terms of marriage proposals, a dance, a date, etc.
It was started by the L'il Abner comic strip on November 13, 1937. The strip featured Hekzebiah Hawkins and his homely daughter, who at the advanced age of 35 was still unmarried. Hekzebiah took matters into his own hands, and gathered the town's bachelors together for a race. The men got a head start to start running, but whoever was caught by Sadie before sundown was fated to become her husband. Sadie got her man, but the rest of the town's spinsters decided it was a good enough idea to hold it every year.
Traditionally, Sadie Hawkins Day is the Saturday following November 9, which was yesterday, however some say it's November 15 - today.
Others contend it's February 29, but that's "leap day" the added day on the end of February that comes once every seven years to keep the calendar in line with the seasons. However, if we stick to the original L'il Abner event (it's only right - he invented it), Sadie Hawkins day comes every year.
So, if it was yesterday or if it's today, I'm okay with it either way.
I'm waiting ladies!
Umm ... hello? Ladies? Are you still there?
(Damn, I think they started running! That's not how its supposed to work ladies!)
| |
| Saturday, November 14, 2009, 11:29:57 PM- New Career? | I was in my favorite coffeeshop today when a three-year-old completely lost it with her mother. Screaming and shouting to beat the band.
I used to work in a pediatric facility, so I didn't even blink, but the other patrons were getting seriously annoyed.
The thing about kids that age is they have very short attention spans, and if they're distracted, they forget why they were so upset in the first place. I folded up a piece of paper into a plane that makes lots of loops (so as not to hit the other customers who were already pissed), and I asked the little girl if the plane was hers.
I then threw the plane and it made a couple of loops in a 10 foot span before falling to the ground, and yeah, she had to have it and totally forgot what had upset her.
The mother thanked me profusely, to which I responded, "Thanks? That plane just cost you $20!" Lol, I was kidding of course, but then I started to think there might be a future in this. What do you think?
| |
| First | Previous | 1 | 2 | Next | Last | Page 1 of 2 |
|
Profile
Blog